Making Malas // Slow down, feel.

April 1, 2014

My first in-depth experience with chanting was in 2009.
I had no idea what they were saying, so I hummed along.

I noticed feeling surprisingly energized after a long day of travel.

I kept humming.

I noticed the volume didn’t change but the feeling certainly did
Like a drum getting closer.

There are sources of power in these words, I feel it.

I hummed along.
I looked around.

What are they saying?
The dialogue in my mind was of utmost curiosity as my eyes steadily attempt to read lips.
Unsuccessful. And a little creepy.

I hummed along.
Someone handed me a prayer-book; opening to the correct page.
What is this place.
I fumbled the words.
I made odd sounds.

My cheeks felt hot.

I smiled.
I like when new things make me feel awkward

I sang.
I hummed some syllables.
I proudly chanted others.

Even when I just sat there.
Even when I just sat there and closed my eyes.
Even when I just sat there and closed my eyes with a million thoughts swirling.
I could feel it.

A swan dive into the infinite universe of fireflies within me.
A place so vast no body could hold.
Freedom.
Limitless.
I couldn’t even question it for a second.
What is this place.
How can I feel so much all at once.

Days and weeks passed with chanting everyday.
I was a lot more comfortable now.
I noticed some mantras would resonate more than others and decided to start my own mantra practice.
This was also the time I decided to learn guitar and make my first song Om Namah Shivaya.
I purchased 108 little Sandalwood beads from the Ashram bookstore and made my first Mala with a lovely little Citrine Meru.
It was beautiful.
I wore it everyday.
I had dreams about it.
Each time one of my senses remembered my Mala being there, I came back to the feeling.

Slow down, feel.

Freedom.

Each time I felt the beads on my skin or heard the beads I would remember.
As I chanted I counted the beads.
I noticed more and more that the feeling stayed a bit longer with each reminder.
I noticed my voice get stronger.
My inner voice changed.
Softened.
Opened loving arms.

The beads fell so gently through my fingers it was easy to get distracted.
And I get back on the thought train.
Senses tune out and thinking turns on full speed ahead.
Then I remember.
Slow down, Feel.
Freedom.

I learned Om Namah Shivaya on guitar, and harmonium.
I have been chanting it ever since.
I have also made my own Malas since 2009 and wear them as a reminder.

Whether the reminder is to take more space for me.
Or to face fear with relentless determination.
A Mala is a reminder of Freedom.

The limitless freedom that lives in each and every one of us.

When life gets busy we use our malas to remember.

Slow down, feel.

All you seek is already here.

Feel your goals and ideals taking shape in this moment here now.

Slow down, feel.
Remember what makes you come alive.

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